Ten uses for the Miles Davis Complete On The Corner box set:
1) Doorstop. Stop doors.
2) Wear it on your hand as a pretty ineffective heat-conducting oven glove or, even more ineffectively as a non-grabby baseball mitt.
3) Desk tidy. Tidy desks.
4) Use the 6 discs as coasters at a dinner party. Could help get conversation started if you have a bunch of dysfunctional friends with nothing in common or nothing interesting to say to each other.
5) Beat Jeremy Kyle to death with it. One end is coloured red, which is helpful, as it would disguise the bloodstains.
6) It would make a very strong packed lunch box for your sandwiches. Gone would be the days when they are beaten to a mayo-and-breadcrumb pulp by the book in your bag.
7) Place cheddar inside, attach to mains. Result: mousetrap. Trap mice.
8) Take it to the shop where you bought it and exchange it for goods to the value of about 45 GBP in cash. Note: results in alarming loss of functionality.
9) Bookend. Umm, end books.
10) Use it to generate about 6 hours of sick, mind-blowing, mutant jazz-funk. Listen until dizzy.
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5 comments
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November 17, 2007 at 11:18 am
Svennevenn
Ha Ha! I held that box in my hand, and asked my self the most stupid of all questions: “Do you really need this?”. The answer was “No!”, but then I often ask my self the same question again, ending up with other answers :-)
November 17, 2007 at 6:14 pm
marxsbeard
ha! and indeed ha!
miles davis had awesomely odd hair, variously. and bitches bitches brew is more judas than dylan electric. judas rocks.
i’d rather use my bare hands to beat jeremy kyle to death. more satisfying i feel. i’d take the prison time for it too.
November 18, 2007 at 12:53 am
sillyoldtwit
As someone who has been listening to Miles since the early 60’s I must say that I hate these box sets…I have the Pulgged Nickle one and it’s dreadfull….they are all remastered to death. In an attempt to find the ‘real sound’ of the recordings they end up with a sound that bares no relation to the original music.
The only way to really hear the original sound is by getting the music on vinyl….
November 21, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Colin
Hmmm now what I can say about this? Well… for some years, until fairly recently, I listened to Miles – 60s to 80s – semi-continuously (I was also a huge kozmigroov/Electric Jazz phreak)… One of my son’s middle names is Miles… I own 30+ bootlegs of Miles from the 70s alone. I’ve read quite a few books about him… I’ll be reeeeally hard pushed to choose between On The Corner and Dark Magus when Roy Plomley (sic) invites me onto Desert Island Discs… (none of which of course gives me any more right to an opinion than anyone else!)
I own only one of the Complete Sessions boxes – the Bitches Brew one. It’s bloody horrible, reviving out-takes that should have stayed in the dark and screwing up the flow of Miles’ (and Teo’s) music for the sake of chronology – as if Miles was EVER interested in such dumb-arsed inanity. These collections (and I’ve heard a couple of the others as well) do an active disservice to Miles’ art and his legacy.
I would agree with sillyoldtwit regarding the remastering as well (the BB feels like it’s had its clothes ripped off) – except I think one edition of the Japanese only editions of the Agharta/Pangaea recordings does improve upon everything else.
Oh and that gold embossed box? Looks horribly like a naff Christmas card.
Um, that’s me done. Rant over :-)
February 3, 2008 at 4:35 pm
MILES Beyond Blog » Blog Archive » December 2007
[...] A very amusing Complete On The Corner Sessions review on the Mapsadaisical blog site can be found here… Also entertaining, and we’ll forgive the young critic some ignorant remarks (e.g. Miles [...]