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There is a huge monument on the Greenwich peninsula in the shape of a giant white female breast. Nobody knows exactly what it is for, but it is believed to have been erected as part of some pagan celebration at a particularly auspicious date in the calendar; perhaps the big tit symbolised the free-flowing wealth that they hoped they would be sucking on in the future. Unsure of its true significance, UK Plc sold the thing off to some Americans who believed they were buying an actual female breast; they also bought a plot of land in Croydon where they expected to begin digging to excavate “her” genitalia. On arrival they soon discovered their folly, and began a major recontextualisation of this once sacred place: from mammary to mammon; from nipple to Nando’s. Read the rest of this entry »